Why My Passion For Drag Queens Makes Me A Better Mother

Aggie dance floor devi by Kathy CrabbeAggie Dance Floor Devi” by Kathy Crabbe

Boas. Fake lashes. Heels. I even had a disco ball that spun from my ceiling. Loud, gorgeous clothes.

What I didn’t have was a future in the world of drag because I was already a girl, and I didn’t want to dress like a man. I wanted to dress like a Queen.

Molly knew how to play it by Kathy Crabbe.jpg

“Molly Knew How To Play It”‘ by Kathy Crabbe

My brother, who is 15 years older than me, took me to Pride in San Francisco and I fell for those gorgeous ladies. I loved their attitudes and the way they moved. They did not apologize constantly the way women in my family did. They loved themselves.

I knew it could never be my reality, but that didn’t mean I didn’t practice with my boombox in the privacy of my room in my little hometown in Rainbow, CA. (Yep.)

When I got pregnant (25 years later) the first books for children I looked for were books about drag queens (I couldn’t find one — any suggestions?) and to see if they had Drag Queen Story Hour at the library in my city. They don’t.

I watched hours and hours of RuPaul’s Drag Race while on bed rest while pregnant… little did I know I was about to start my routine again.

Elro, my daughter, is fussy. Do I stress about it? Nope. Apologize for it? Nah. I want her to love herself. She digs music. When she’s so fussy she looks like Danny DeVito, I turn into the drag queen I have always been in my heart and lip sync the hell out of some Whitney Houston, Ida Maria, Megan Trainer…. everyone.

She loves it.

Once she had a total meltdown and I had to summon the power of Beyoncé. I was thankful for the gay bars I frequented during her “Single Ladies” debut. After the number was over, when Elro was smiling even though her face was still wet with tears, I felt powerful. I felt awesome — and I realized that that feeling was an important feeling to hang on to and cultivate. Because, as RuPaul asks again and again — if you can’t love yourself, how the hell you gonna love somebody else? And my little girl deserves lots and lots of love.

Tonite I fly by Kathy Crabbe.jpg

“Tonite I Fly” by Kathy Crabbe

About the artist!

Kathy Crabbe is a Canadian born, self taught artist intuitively inspired by a shamanic exploration of the inner psyche.

Kathy is an intuitive guide, creator of the Lefty Oracle deck and a teacher at the Wise Woman University. She is the founder of the Temecula Artist’s Circle and co-founder of the Temecula Arts Mixer and the Writer’s Cafe.

Kathy lives with her architect husband, Mark and their two mutts, Abby & Djinn Djinn in homes they’ve built themselves surrounded by the desert and forest wilderness of Temecula, California and the 1000 Islands, Canada.

Find her work at KathyCrabbe.com!

The first image used is entitled “Gloria Simply Adored Herself”

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